Because i love You
by IceDragonSlayerEmi791
Summary: Complete revison. He's crazy a killer, pshycopath... but i love him, he's my moon and stars. i should have looked away that summer and never got envloved with him but i couldnt. i craved him... my name is Lisanna and im in love with a pshycopath. why? cause im crazy as well or Because I love...you
1. Chapter 1: Should have looked away

Because I love you

By: Icedragonslayeremi791

Chapter 1: I should have looked away.

A/N: this is the third damn time I have re written this story! Each time I start it I get about eight chapters in before it sucks, its like the thorn in my side! Now than lets fly my fairies!

~~~~~Lisanna's Pov~~~~~~

Over the course of a year life had changed quickly I looked up at the certificate hanging on the wall in my room that said I had completed 3 semesters of College at Magnolia Community college. I still had two more years to go though. I was so close to my goal I could taste it. I was the first in my family to go to college, which is big considering were I come from. I'm a hood girl born and raised on the Southside of Magnolia. Its what most people call the hood. Its normal if you hear drunks fighting in the streets, see a homeless man or woman asleep in your yard or watch the local drug addict get chased down by the cops. It was not a place for most people to live some of my rich bitch friends in high school cringed when they stayed the night, they were not my friends after that either. But I didn't really care anyways, I was only friends with them because I got lucky enough to cheer for about two years before I quit, didn't like trying to be something I wasn't, but growing up South side me tough….Strong. Mavis knows I would need it when I started my summer internship, even if I didn't know it at this point. This summer would change me and my life that was fo sure. My name is Lisanna Jean Strauss and this is the story of how I fell in love with a mad man.

~~~~~~~ Story start~~~~~~~~

My alarm on my phone blared out the space invaders song and I roll out of bed grabbing my phone and Bluetooth going to be the bathroom to shower, I start the water and tune my phone to Sweet but Psyhco by AvaMax, I didn't know it at the time but this song would be used to describe the love of my life and myself when it came to him. Depending on who you asked. While I showered I sang to the shampoo I guess? My sister Mira Jane always says I have a amazing voice and to sing more but I don't believe her. I don't sing much preferring to play my bass more.

I finish washing my self and wrap a towel around my body going to my room to get some clothes. My room had always been my sanctuary when I was stressed and wanted to escape in the sound of my music or guitar. It was small but I didn't care, to my left was my bed with my purple bedding I have had since I was a kid, across from that was the same white dresser that my mom had painted before she would take off chasing some band. It was fading now but it still said Lissy across the top drawer. There was a few CDs and a old RCA boombox on it, last picture of my dad and one of Mira and I. on the walls were posters of bands from everything to Pink to Blood on the dance floor. I paw threw my dresser finding some destroyed jeans and my blood on the dance floor tee, grab me some socks and head downstairs, Upon getting downstairs I see Mira had just finished eggs, I grab me a plate and some coffee.

Mira was amazing she had been taking care of Me and my older brother Elfman since she was 14 when my dad died. She had dropped out of high school before that to take care of us because dad couldn't. most thought it was because like all south side girls Mira got pregnant but that was not the case. She did fuck around had a new flavor each week this week was Macco but it would change. That's how it was though Mira didn't like them hanging around to long because they would grow attached and she hated it when that happened. I have watched her kick a man's ass when Max Aros got to clingy and tried to keep her. It was not pretty. I finish my breakfast and wait for Elfman so we could go.

Elfman was security at Fairy Hills Sanitarium which is were my internship was. He nods and grabs his keys, we than head out, I jam my earbuds in my ears and tune my phone to girl on fire by Alica keys. Elfman and I had to take the L there. I hate the L but it was how we got around with out a car. We rode it till we got to the outskirts of Magnolia next closest city was Clover and it was forty minutes to a hour away. We had to walk the rest of the way. When we walk up to the gates I see the expansive property that was Fairy was a massive white building with well kept gardens and a fountain, there were some inmates enjoying the sun and it seemed nice, but I would soon find how wrong I was. For the rest of the people who came in to Fairy hills it was fine, Like Gray back in highschool did about six weeks in the suicide ward,he fine a asshole but fine. But for the criminally insane it was a nightmare.

Elfman leads me in to meet Evergreen who would take me to Freed. I roll my eyes at her. Evergreen was the epitome of Boogie. Bitch came from the same damn area I did and acted like she was better than everyone because she got a out of the hood. If I didn't need this job or to insure my brother's wrath I would stomp a mud hole in her knock her boogie ass down a few pegs. Not to mention that but her and my brother broke up more times than I changed my damn drawers. Although right now I was loving the nun get up she was wearing, it was the woman's uniform here because the catholic church owned the hospital. They believed that threw prayer all affectations of the mind could be cured, there motto being prayer, prescriptions and penitence. Haha! Just kidding I had no clue what their motto was. Evergreen smiles at me and leads threw the halls threw the suicide ward and the ward were they kept the people seeking a evaluations to a spiral stair case to a large steel door were she had to unlock it to get in as well as scan her finger, the plaque above the door read Criminally insane. I gulp as she leads me in there were all kinds of people here one woman was standing in the corner talking to a doll cradling as if it were her baby, one who was fucking a bear …...but it was the dark green eyes that looked at me from behind a shade of blue black hair, they burned me from with inside as he read every ounce of my soul. I saw him... I knew him in passing from school , he protected me from being knocked over from being so short. Im only 4'11... he looked the same, burn from a carnival ride back fireing in his face, but he was not the guy I remembered anymore...he had changed behind his dark green eyes was a pain. Something told me he shouldn't be here and it was killing him... he was loosing a sense of who he was... I now knew what happened to Bickslow in the summer before I turned 15, he was locked up when he was 17..., I should have looked away.


	2. Chapter 2 : Summer study

Because I love…..You

By:IceDragonSlayerEmi791

Chapter 2: Summer Study

~~~~~~~``Lisanna's POV~~~~~~~~~

I felt locked in his gaze and its not till Evergreen pulls me along that I look away and see his gaze go back to the window were he was sitting just staring out it like he longed to just feel grass or the sun on his face again. Before following Evergreen I get a good look at him, his hair had grown longer than I remberd it was at his shoulders, he was thin like he had lost weight and lost most of his bulk, back in the day he was pretty bulky not as big as Laxus Dryer but still pretty big, he had gotten it from working in the carnival his whole life. He wore a blue set of what could only be described as pajamas and white flats, he had a slump in his stature and he looked like he wanted to die, on his wrists were large leather cuffs that kept his wrists in one place in front of him like he was not allowed to us them,

I sigh and follow Evergreen to the other side of the day room to a large hallway with steel doors that had large bolt locks on the front, a small window on top of the door and a small opening on the front most likely to slide food in. she leads me threw another hallway than to a wooden door, she taps on it three times before a voice says come in. she leads me in and I see my summer boss. I'd recognize him anywhere long green hair and brown eyes, small frame but still the same Freed Justine from high school he usually hung out with Laxus, Evergreen and Bickslow in high school. I remberd them because Mira and Laxus had dated in Highschool before she dropped out, I should explain how it went I started high school at 13, the year after Mira dropped out. Magnolia Highschool started at 8th grade. Freed looked the same yet he looked different exhaustion written all over his face and I look of relief too. " Your intern," She says looking at the floor, Freed sighs before he says " Ok thanks Ever, can you get everyone ready for dinner?" he asks her and she nods before she adds in " You know he wont eat " , " I know" he says, I look between them both with a look of confusion on my face. Evergreen leaves and I look at Freed, " So Psychology huh?" he says and I nod. " Relax Lisanna I'm not going to bite you, some of the inmates here maybe but me no, your not my type, anyways so here is how this is going to work, your gonna learn the ropes today and how we run things here, but before you leave today I will be giving you a special case to work on, I think with your quick mind and determination you may be able to crack it" he says as he gets up and walks toward the door, I follow him were he shows me the men's dorms and showed me how the worked, in the closet there was a large wheel that looked like a cog and he turned it after he had pulled the bolts on the doors, the doors open with a loud clang like something had shifted inside them, I saw it as looked on the inside of the door, there was a bolt on the inside of the door that locked it from inside the door. I look in one of the rooms and saw there was just a bed, a small night stand and leather cuffs on the bed. He informs me that the doors could only be opened like that, I nod taking it in he leads me to the hydro thepery room and introduces me to Dr. Adolf. That man gave me the creeps. Next I'm lead to the kitchen were dinner was being made,

I pull my phone out of my pocket it was only 2 in the afternoon, what time did they feed them here? I watch some of the inmates working in the kitchen, some were making bread, stirring pots and some were washing dishes. I watch as Freed puts a hand on a shoulder, the person looks up and I see it Bickslow he had his hair in a messy bun, I knew it was definitely him now as I saw the hatchet man tattoo he had on his face he got to cover the burn on his face from a ride back firing in his face it never did a very good job under some parts of it you still saw the burn. Bickslow was rolling bread when Freed touched him, but it was not a look of oh hey it's my friend more like a look of I will kill you don't touch me. I follow Freed again and we meet the woman who runs this place she was a older woman in her early 50's named Sister Mary she had a evil about her I didn't like. I stayed with Freed all day learning the ropes at 8 the men are brought in and lined up on the wall facing it with there hands behind there backs, I saw my brother at the end of the hallway by the massive gear, Freed walks into each room and checks it before he walks out, he only stops to check their feet and move them with his foot if needed. It was when he got to Bickslow I saw his whole demnor change, he moved Bickslow's feet and when he did Bickslow had turned and jumped up wrapping his legs around Freed, he had whisperd something in his ear I didn't hear and that's when I hear Freed " Bix your chocking me, Elfman take Bix to the hole let him cool his tune some" He says in a raspy voice.

My brother comes over grabbing Bickslow pulling him off Freed " REALLY, FUCK YOU FREED" Bickslow yells as my brother carries him off to the basement were solitary was." Go Cool down I'll come get you" Freed says as he has Evergreen pass out meds, checking to see if people take them. I than watch as he escorts each inmate to their room before walking out when there all in Freed tells a orderly called Carl to close the doors, I would grow to despise Carl.

Once we are done there Freed goes down to the Basement and Gets Bickslow, still sporting red marks on his neck were Bickslow had him in a choke hold, when we got there Bickslow was standing by the door rubbing his ass. " You OK?" I ask him once Freed has the door open and puts leather hand cuffs on his wrists. Bickslow looks down at me and scoffs. Once he is in his room Freed and I head back to his office were he reaches in his desk pulling out a manila folder it was the thickest thing I had ever seen. I read the name on the file " Seith Bickslow, A. " I look up Freed in horror, "No" I tell him, Freed chuckles " Want to be a psychiatrist ? " he asks, I nod and meekly reply " Yes" as I look at the floor. "Than learn to look beyond what you see" He says. I sigh "Freed he's a murder" I tell him, Freed looks at me in a dead pan stare. " I know what the cops, news and people say and I know Bickslow" he says. I roll my eyes and take the case stuffing it in my bag before heading out to meet my brother.

On the way home I pull it out and read the first page, " _Bickslow Seith age 17 is responsible for the Fantasia Massacre on May 15__th__ x792, perpetrator was found covered in blood holding the decapitated body of Aladora Seith one of the gypsy dancers, upon further investigation it would be discovered that he had raped and sodimized her, officers chased the crying teen 4 miles to the Dryer house hold were he was shot down from the roof top, Was taken to Magnolia general for a broken leg and bullet wound to the hip. He is extremely dangerous must be handcuffed at all times."_ I re read that till Elfman says " Lissy" I look up stuffing the folder back in my bag. I didn't understand how he could be innocent and thought maybe Freed was losing his own mind. The case said Bickslow cried holding Aladora's body but the Boston Strangler cried over his victims.

I walk past Elfman and head inside grabbing a beer before heading up stairs to drink it while I turn on music to think. I turn on Fully alive by Flyleaf, I begin to sort out pages of the file on my bed while I drank my beer, then I saw a cd…. I pull out my lap top and put it in the video loads and it's grainy like it was taken with a phone…. FREED! I thought to myself he recorded this back when he was just an orderly there, I turn my eyes back to she screen. The door on the van opens and you see a figure step out only to get pulled out of the van he had a harness and was cuffed to the harness, it was 17-year-old Bickslow, he looked up at Freed with a pure fear as they lead him in. It hit me than seeing that video he really was innocent but I had to prove it.


	3. Chapter 3: What do you remember?

Because I love you

By: IcedragonSlayerEmi 791

Chapter 3: What do you remember?

_A/N: so I recently got a bad review, I have to say if this story offends you don't read it, pure and simple! I don't write to make everyone and their mothers happy I write because I love to do it, its my passion and simply put I'm good at it, yes I know that sounded narcissistic that was the point. Simply put do not call me a hypocrite because I don't adhere to your standard on how my story is to be told! Its my head not your! Now than lets fly my fairies!_

~~~~~~~Lisanna ~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted to sleep in, after spending all night collaging this case around my room to figure it out and put the pieces together, But no I don't get sleep, I was woke up by my Phone playing Elastic heart by Sia, I pick it up answering in a still sleep laden voice " Hello?" , " Hospital opens at 8 not eleven" Freed said before the line went dead. I groan as I got out of bed and went to shower before returning to my room in nothing but a towel to find clothes, it was than I realize I had no clean fucking clothes really but a mini skirt and a pink tank top that had little hearts on it. I groan putting them on hopping to find some shorts or something else to wear besides the skirt, I literally had nothing but a pair of white capri length spanx to go under it, well it was better than parading my underwear clad ass around a bug house. I go down " stairs and grab me a cup of coffee before sliding my converse on and heading out to catch the L. I get to the hospital and Walk in to Freed's office were he glares at me, my eyes suddenly find the floor, you know you never truly know just how dirty your shoes are till you stare at them. " what I didn't know I had to be at Asscrack am " I tell him Freed rolls his eyes in response, " I'm sorry it wont happen again" I say.

Freed Sighs and leads me to a therapy room were im sat down, when he leaves I'm toughly confused till Carl brings in Bickslow. " Freed wants you to talk to him, personally I don't think he can talk anymore" Carl says in a mocking tone. " Why?" , " Because he's to fucking stupid to talk" Carl says as he hits Bickslow hard enough to bounce his head off the table, at that point I see red but had to hold my composure, I took a deep breath calming my self before I said something since Bickslow was utterly defenseless in the straight jacket he had on. As much as I wanted to say something about his blanet abuse I knew I couldn't. " Carl take the straight jacket off" I tell him. " No can do tootse he's fucking crazy sodimised his mother after he decapitated her, imagine what he would do to a sexy little thing like you." Carl replied with a sneer. I wait till Carl is gone before I talk to Bickslow. " Hey Bickslow do you remember me?" I ask "No" he says, " Im Lisanna, Elfman's little sister you used to keep me from being shoved in lockers" I tell him, he looks at me threw the curtain of hair and says " Still don't remember you Sorry Kitten" he says. _Kitten?_ I thought to my self. I tried to figure out what to say next. " What do you remember?" I ask him, he looks me with his red eyes that held so much pain it was heart breaking , it pulled me in pieces and I wanted to cry for him, his eyes held a pain I knew all to well. … Loss. But under that pain of loss was the look of emptiness. " Fragments" Was all he said. My heart sank, " You don't remember anything?" I ask him. " Not Much to remember after they send close to 200 volts to your noodle" he says. I whistled hearing that. " Why so much?" I ask. " The bitch wanted me to forget I was potty trained" he retorts. I chuckle at his choice of words before I ask him and proboly should have never asked " do you still remember how to use the potty?" I was walking a thin line trying to joke with him, I waited for him to be offended but he wasn't, his reply came quick with some sass to it " Yes I still wipe my own ass too." His lips pull into a small smile. " Do you remember why you're here?" I ask him. "Yes and I don't want to talk about it" He says looking at the table. I sigh in frustration. " ok we don't have to talk about that yet" I tell him. He looked back up his empty eyes meeting mine. It was like I saw them for the first time they were crimson, I was so lost in his eyes I almost had missed him say " Your wasting your time, I wont tell Freed, I'm sure as fuck gonna tell you" " Why not?" I ask him, he figited in the straight jacket before his eyes narrowed in a look like I had killed his puppy " I have done this road with Freed, And don't fucking think for a second that how does that make you feel Bickslow shit works either" he said. I was in shock, He may have had no memory of me or anything else he was still the trash talking Bickslow from high school. " ok what do you want talk about?" I ask him. " I want to talk about a goddam cigarette and you" he says as his tounge rolled out of his mouth when he said you. I than noticed he had a tattoo of a sparrow on his tounge. I text Elfman to see if he could find me a cigarette for Bickslow. I almost hated asking him but knew Elf would find one. " AWW your phone case is pink!" he says in a mock tone, I roll my eyes saying " Yes and I hate it", " What's your favorite color?" he asks " Purple " I answer coolly, " AWW Mine too" he says, its not long before the massive form that is my brother walks in with a cigarette. I take it and some matches from him tossing at Bickslow. " Umm Kitten I need your help, my wonderfully Sexy Hug me jacket keeps me from doing but hugging myself" he says in a sickly sweet tone. I drag my chair over and sit down holding the cigarette out to him, as soon as im close enough I feel something wet on my cheek, it takes me a second to realize HE HAD FUCKIN LICKED ME! I wipe his slobber of my face before I stick the cigarette in his mouth striking the match on the table, I hold the cigarette as he smoked it, while he smoked we fall into easy conversation. " Hey Kitten, I may not remember you right now but why don't you refresh my memory?" he asks, I gulp trying to think of what memory of mine I should tell him, I sigh before telling him " I was 13 just started 8th grade at Magnolia High, some seniors had tried to stuff me in a trashcan, you were a sophomore and you stopped them from sticking me in it" I tell him. His face goes blank almost like the lights were on but no one was home. " Bickslow?" I ask. " I-I Do Remember you…..Vaguely" He says

I was about to say something when Carl comes back in " Nap time for Retard" he says, I say good bye to Bickslow, He says nothing but smiles at me. I decide that I need answers and asked Freed if I could go and question people. Freed nods and says nothing was he still but hurt about me being late? I take the L to a block away from Makarov's Auto, upon getting there im met with a very angry Natsu staring at me " What the fuck do you Want Lisanna?" he asked me his voice like venom, apparently he was still mad about our break up from high school. "Oh grow up Natsu, I want to speak to Laxus not your bitch ass" I tell him, from behind the pink haired morn is see Gray Fullbuster chuckling. Natsu mean while was looking me over like I was gonna fuck Laxus, Despite what he thought I didn't fuck Droy I was toutoring him in math, but his half a brain cell took it as I was fucking him. " I'll get Laxus" Gray said un able to hold his laughter anymore before he slipped under the half open garage door to the paint was less than a minute before the massive surly form of Laxus apperd " You cant sell girl scout cookies here" he said, did I look like a damn girl scout? " Damn and I left my thin mints at home" I quip. " Your Lisanna right? Mira's lil Sis?" He asks I nod. " what do you want ?" he asks. I gulp unsure how to broch the subject. I decide it was just better to be straight forward " I want to talk about Bickslow" I tell him. He looks around to see if anyone had heard me. " not here meet me at Patsy's at five ok?" he asks I stick my tongue out in disgust before asking " That roach trap?" He chuckles before he answered me " yeah that roach trap makes the best pie on the the Southside though" he says. I was not gonna argue there, if you could get past the roaches they really did make the best pie on the southside. I agree to it and waited around till then, I decide to go to the library trying to see if I could find anything on the case there.

I did find something I found a newspaper that read:_ Tragedy strikes Magnolia. It was a sad day for the city of Magnolia as a tragedy struck the town on may 25__th__ when the Fantasia Carnival was massacred by the beloved Aladora Seith's son. In a fit of rage the young man had completely wiped everyone away on the night it was supposed to open, defiantly unhinged it was on of the most gruesome sights to touch the once proud coal mining town. _ Wow what a way to lay it on thick? The news paper had painted Bickslow as some unhinged psychopath who just went on a killing spree for the fuck of it. I look at my phone it was time to meet Laxus,

I sigh and head to Patsy's once there we head in, he was nervous I could see it, he had ordered him some of the Buttermilk pie and a large chocolate milk shake, me I was not hungry nor was in the mood to pick roaches out of my food today. " So yeah do you care if I record this?" I ask him. " Yeah sure what ever" he says, I pull out my phone and hit record on my camera. " So Laxus what do you remember?" I ask him, Laxus sighed before he answered " It was May 25th and my birthday, Bickslow and I were hanging outside my house we had just got done smoking a blunt, he had been teaching me how to do some skateboard tricks and I was failing miserably, we lost track of time and he had to leave it was 5:00 he had promised his mom he would be there before six to work on the Graviton that damn ride never worked, I said bye and told him id see him later to see if I could do what we were calling the Carnie Challenge, which is were you get drunk and try to walk around the ride while it was moving, if he could fix it, but he never made it, it was no less than 45 minutes later I heard the sirens and a gunshot, I watched as he rolled from the roof of my house landing on his left leg the wrong way breaking his leg ,it was so bad you could actually see the bone."

I think he saw the shock on my face when he described just how bad Bickslow's leg had been broke. I hit stop on my phone and looked at him. Laxus said nothing as he shoved a piece of pie in his mouth. We talked for a few but it was as I was leaving he said " Hey Lisanna, if you can free him can you bring him to me, I owe him an apology" he said, I couldn't promise him that but nod any ways. Question was would I even be able to Free Bickslow? I went home that night and crashed after eating dinner that I didn't taste. It had just been to much today.

**leave me some reviews! why because they make me happy!**


	4. Chapter 4: Stay Strong

Because I love you

By:IceDragonSlayerEmi

Chapter 4: Stay Strong

A/N: _So im giving you all time line here, this Story takes place about a year before the events in finding love again, the sequel to this will take place during the time frame of Forever. Sounds crazy but you'll see my end goal in the long run, thanx to JcL107 and PokemonFanForever for following! Lets get some reviews going here! Now than lets fly my fairies!_

-Bickslow's pov-

I see the sun creep threw the bars of my window, I pull myself out of bed and groan, my leg was killing me, the steal rod and pins always hurt when it was cold, it was always cold in this fucking hospital they never turn the heat on, during the summer it was still cold in here till about noon than it turned into a oven. I put on a gray sweatshirt I was given on admittance its nothing fancy just a gray hoodie with a zipper, only difference is I've bitten holes in mine for my thumbs to go threw. I hear my door unlock and step outside facing the wall with my hands behind my back to wait my tun to piss, It was always like this we had to escorted to the bathroom and watched while we went. I see Lisanna walk by out of the corner of my eye, I wonder how long it would take before she gave up me too. Everyone does, why? Because I wont talk, I don't want to. Talking about it would make relive those memories I've been holding back and running from. I would have to relive the memory of something that I didn't do, something that put me in hell. I hear Carl say " Come on Stupid its your turn" I sigh and let him put the handcuffs on my wrist, wincing as I hear the click of the metal ones, I hate metal handcuffs they make me remember the day I was arrested, I wanted to shut down once he had put them on, I almost did but my bladder says other wise, I sigh and let him lead me to the bathroom were he stands right over my shoulder as I pull my dick out " Excuse you but I'm perfectly capable of holding my own dick" I tell him, he slaps the back of my head and it bounces of the wall. I growl in frustration and pain, I wanted to piss on him, last time I did that I got canned and thrown in the hole. I finish and he leads me back to the wall were he slams my face into it, I taste blood in my mouth and can feel it run down my chin. I swallow it. I run my tongue over my teeth and feel another one had broken.

Almost all my teeth were broken from being slammed into wall or slapped hard enough I bounce my head off something. Once bathroom time is over were led to the cafeteria where it's the same lumpy gray porridge they always serve, I groan as I pick it up with my fingers and eat a few bites. Its eat or get a tube shoved down my throat, I give the rest to Master Bating Charlie, I than begin to clean my hands off, I don't get silverware, Why? Because I stab people who try to steal my food. It's not cause I'm violent or dangerous I simply just don't like a mother fucker touching my food, its simple enough keep your hands out my plate and you keep your hand. Not here the first time I stabbed someone was with a steak knife, Martha had decided she wanted my biscuit more than I did, so I stabbed her in the hand, second time Greg the bear fucker wanted my jello I stabbed him with a fork. Another one wanted my peanut butter sandwich, so I stabbed him with a spork, I'm not allowed to have anything to eat with anymore. After breakfast it's the daily dose of chalk tasting pills that make me lucid, they are horrible. Were than led to the day room where I sit in the window and try to piece the fragments of my life back together. Every time I sit in the window I think of my Mama. My Mama was the best sweetest kindest woman ever, she was a full-blooded Gypsy from Romania sent here to keep her from being killed when the Gypsy purge was going on in Romania, she had been sent over as a child, Alashar Therlopis had found her begging in the streets and gave her a home, food and a job. She had me young she was 15 when she got pregnant with me, Alashar let her keep me, she raised me in that carnival. I had learned it all before I was out of diapers. She would always tell me I was smart and to do more than just be a Carnie to make something of myself. I don't think she meant a lunatic drooling in bread though, but here I am. We traveled a lot at first for the longest time I only knew the inside of her Vardo, but when I was 10, we had stopped in Magnolia and she met up with her old friend Makarov, Her and Makarov made a deal that I would live with him from August to May so I could go to regular school, she had homeschooled me for the longest time. I didn't want to leave her, but she made me promise to go and she would see me in the summer. It went like that for years than when I was 14 Alashar had gotten a contract with Magnolia to take up permeant residency here. I loved it because I got to go home every weekend to see my Mama. While they had been traveling, they had picked up Rusty, Alashar had a soft spot for kids who had nothing. That soft spot is what took everything I had ever known away. I knew no one would ever believe me the half breed Gypsy/Boscon mutt, but I knew who it and I'm sat here doing his time for a crime I didn't commit.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, I look threw my mass of hair and see Evergreen she had a cigarette for me, I take it between two fingers and wait for her to light it. Once she does, I sigh in relief. "you ok?" she asks, "I'm Fine" I tell her. "You sure Bix?" she asks again, " Yes Ever I'm Fan Fucking Tastic" I tell her. I did remember Evergreen she used to kick it with me, Laxus and Freed the only girl we had deemed cool enough to chill with. Evergreen had gotten in to the Thunder Legion which what we called ourselves in high school because she stood toe to toe with Laxus in a screaming match over the last slice of Pizza in the lunch line once, from that point she was cool, that and she got good weed.

As I smoke, I remember how it felt to find my Mama like that, I should have been there sooner to stop that skinny little fuck, I should have saved her, but I was to busy getting stoned with Laxus. Fucking Laxus he never came to see me at the hospital just left me there to rot, I thought he was my best friend. Ride or die but no. he just stood back and watched them haul me away. Fuck him. No one knew just how shitty I felt how much I wanted to just die to go be with My Mama. Sometimes I think back to what she used to always tell me " Rămâi puternic pe Fiul meu" which means stay strong my son, I was tired of trying to Stay Strong. I was falling apart. I see Lisanna walk by and she smiles at me, I just look out the window. Every day I prayed for death, I've tried a few times. I look down at my wrist under the leather cuffs I had to wear, there were scars from metal hand cuffs that were left on for so long they had to be surgically removed from my wrists, under that was a scar were I had tried to commit suicide by slicing my wrists on the meat slicer, they just stitched my ass back up. Death never came. I tried to hang my self once too got cut down and now had to be handcuffed 24 hours a day. I spent my whole day with leather cuffs around my wrists. I listen to the chaos around me, fucking Lunatics. They never stopped yelling, there is also the endless loop of Domonique, growing up I had heard it once in my life. Being in Fairy hills it was every day for six fucking years. It used to drive me bat shit crazy, it still does but I've learned to tune it out. I had the feeling to look over towards the record player and saw Lisanna over there, I jump down from my window and run over to her, stopping her hand. I whisper to her " Don't do that Kitten, Any one of them will rat you out, don't think for a second sister Twaty ain't above canning an employee, you'd get your ass beat and they get a piece of candy" . " Its so fucking annoying!" she says. " you get used to it" I tell her as I head back to my window. She walks over to me " What do you want?" I ask her. " Wanna go for a walk?" She asks. " I'm not allowed outside" I tell her. " Oh, Wanna play cards?" she asks " Half of them are missing" I tell her still keeping my eyes on the window. She sighs and walks away. I groan and get up. " Kitten wait," I say, she turns, she was prettier than I remember she was still short but had filled out nicely she was curvier now had finally grown in to her boobs. Her hair was still the color of snow and her eyes were still the same ocean blue I vaguely remembered from high school. "What did you want to talk about?" I ask her, her lips pull up into a small smile. " tell me your side of the story?" She asks. " anything but that" I tell her. We end up talking about what she had been doing for the past six years. Talking with Lisanna was easy she didn't judge me, didn't freak out if I went pervy or creepy on her she just smiled and laughed at my pathetic jokes. Its not long till I had to make the bread that this fucked up place sold to support its self. After that its dinner than more meds to make me numb. Than bed. I was about to fall asleep when Carl comes in with three other orderlies. I sigh and stay still as he pulls my pants down and moves my body up so I was ass up and he pushed himself into me, I sigh as I count to my self waiting for him to be done. I used to fight and scream, cry them to stop, but they never did, like every thing else I became numb to it. Sad fact is I like it. Crazy right? I didn't know they had left my door open, I hear a gasp and see Lisanna standing there watching " What are you doing to him!" she yells. _Good job Kitten_. I feel Carl pull out and he walks over to her with his dick still out. Grabs her pushing her up on the door, his hand encloses around her neck, I lose it than and try to pull up from the bed to save her, yet I didn't know why " You don't tell anyone what you saw, do you understand you little fucking cunt! Understand?" he snarls at her. I don't hear anything from her, I begin to think he had killed her. " Yes" she squeaks, Carl drops her and she runs off crying, I can hear her shoes hit as she ran down the hall way to the door to the day room. I pull up again but its no use. My head is shoved back down as Carl continues his humiliation. Every day same shit… Mavis Kill me.

A/N: _I know Bickslow seems out of Character but remember he has been in a insane asylum for the past six years. Its scared his psyche and he is depressed. You would be too. Leave some words!_


	5. Chapter 5:Time for tears

Because I love you

By:IcedragonslayerEmi791

Chapter 5: a time for tears

A/N: Thank you to those who have follows and reviewed, Lets Fly my Fairies!

~~~~~~~~Lisanna~~~~~~~~

I have been working with Bickslow for about two weeks, I was no closer to solving this case than a dog trying to find a bone on the Northside were the richy fucks lived. But after I had drunk myself stupid at the Snake pit with my good friend Kinana that I had a plan. Kinana was gonna admit herself as a patient there to try to get dirt from the inside. Her only concern was her daughter Firelily, However Kinana had a awesome boyfriend. Erik had agreed to take care of her till Kinana got back. It was because he had grown up in the same carnival till he was nine when he ran away, life didn't get much better for him his foster father Brain had been just as abusive to him, it had closed him off to everyone but Kinana she was the only who could reach Erik, when he was 17 and she was 16 she ended up pregnant with Firelily, it clamed him and while he still does not like people he is not as angry anymore. He was doing this because he like the rest of knew Bickslow had to be innocent, he had known Bickslow as a kid and knew there was not a crazy bone in his body. I had left that night with a plan and Kinana would get the job for the Celestial Star News she wanted. Kinana was studying journalism, exposing Fairy Hills would get her the job that was for sure.

But today was a new day and I was getting ready to go back to Fairy Hell that's what I had begun calling it with a massive hangover, Freed and I were both trying our best to keep Bickslow under wraps. Lately he has been getting the shitty end of the stick, he got in a fight and got canned. The fight was pointless too, over food. Masturbating Charlie had taken Bickslow's whole tray and Bickslow was not happy about it so he bit Charlie, It took Freed sticking a pen behind his ear to get him to let go, The bite was bad too, Bickslow had broken skin and Charlie had to have stiches. For that he was canned and thrown in the hole. Bickslow didn't care he had said " Oh so I get to play by myself?" I couldn't help but think that maybe it was my fault he was fighting back again but Freed said don't blame myself, that Bickslow had always been the one to fight back when it came to food. I sigh and walk out to my car, I had been saving for six weeks to buy one, it was a 91 Toyota Carola. It was a pos but it was a car. Once Elfman was in we head to work. Elfman didn't even know the plan, it was only between Kinana, Erik and myself. I pull in to the gate and sigh again as I put the car in park, today was gonna be a good day, it think to my self, maybe just maybe he would finally talk to me, tell me what happened, oh mavis I hoped so. I shut the car off put my Flyleaf hoodie on and head inside. It was still early so it was cold inside. By noon I would be roasting and need to take it off to find a place around my waist. I look down at what once was a white hoodie that now had a blood spot on it from that fight, I was the only one Freed trusted to lead Bickslow back to his cell to cool off, once I had him in there he decided he was gonna be extra nice and spit blood at Freed, while most of it ended up on Freed I got some too all over my hoodie. I didn't care though.

I head in and clock in with Freed, That was one relationship that had changed too, Freed has become my friend instead of just my boss, often letting me leave if I needed to or just leaving me alone with Bickslow for as long as I needed. While he didn't talk much to anyone else, Bickslow talked to me. I had learned a great deal about him, like he used to skateboard, tight rope walk, parkor and some gymnastics from growing up the way he did, he loved music, loved horror movies. But he had no fear that I knew about, he could speak Romanian as well as Boscon, Math was his best subject in school and he had wanted to be a mechanic. I snuck my bass in one time and played for him he watched me the whole time, as I played beyond the realms of death by Judas priest for him after he said that was how he was feeling. I chuckled when he said that but as he watched me play his whole demnor changed it was like a little kid watching their first concert. But there was the side nobody knew about, inside he's a mess, scared and at this point he maybe crazy but I didn't care, I consider him my friend. Once Freed gives me the all clear I head into the day room and there he was in the window spacing out again, I hear Braham's lullaby in the background playing at least they had a new song to loop. I remember the song Bickslow came up with to this one " Go to Sleep, Go to sleep little Pshyco, Sister Twaty gonna make it all better now, go to sleep little pshyco go to sleep, go to sleep and drool, go to sleep", when he had sang that one I about died of laughter. I walk over and put my hand on his shoulder, he swings around with his cuffed wrists like he was gonna hit me, " Oh its you" he says, " Yeah it's me" I tell him, " Don't touch me" he says. I had forgotten that, Bickslow didn't like to be touched. He had come to associate someone touching him with pain or abuse. " Im sorry Bickslow" I tell him , he rolls his eyes and gets out of his window, I lead him to the room were we talk most of the time, he says nothing to me, I sigh and wait till he says something " Hows things Kitten?" He asks, " Good" I tell him. " Cool," He says. I had to tell him " So do you remember a kid named Erik?" I ask him. " Yeah" he says " I'm friends with his girlfriend, we have come up with a plan to get you out of here" I tell him, I watch him shake and than realize he was laughing, " Get me out? Only way outta Fairy hills is in a body bag Kitten" He says as he stares at the wall. " Gray got out" I tell him " please he was in the I'm a whiny bitch and tried to be a pussy side, not the im a Psycho and need to be locked up side" He says. " we both know that's not true" I tell him, he sighs before he shrugs his shoulders in agreence. " So are you ever gonna tell me your side" I ask, " Nag, Nag, Nag" he says and I laugh. This was the side I loved of him, Wait loved? " Fine, toss me a cigarette" he says, I didn't smoke but started keeping a pack on me for him. I toss him one and he stumbles to catch it, it than light it for him and he takes a drag

I hit record " It was May 25th my friend Laxus and I were outside we had just got done smoking a blunt, just a couple of kids goofing off really, I was showing him how to skate board and he was bombing, his size preventing him…. I looked down at my old flip phone it was five o clock I had to be home by seven to get the Circus ready for opening night, I had to fix the Gravatron, that damn ride never worked….I got on my board after saying by to Laxus that id see him later to watch him puke his brains out. I stopped at the Magmart on my way there got me a chili dog, a Faygo and a pack of Cigarettes. I hoped back on my board after I ate, stuffing my soda in my back pack, I headed home and….. when I got to to the dirt road I remember it was Funny considering all things,…. When I got to the sign I saw Alashar hanging upside down….. he had no head….. I dropped my board and ran in trying to find my Mama, Bugsy the midget and Stretch the stilt man both were dead…. Some one had stuck Bugsy on a stilt rotisserie style….. everyone in the big top had been cut open and de-de-decapataited….. the lions and tigers…. Were eating the remains… I puked by the liger's cage… I had to jump back as it took a swipe at me…. I just wanted to find my Mama….. I stopped at the Vardo were I grew up and and the door had been ripped off its hinges…. There were drag marks….. like she had tried to hide…. I called her and she didn't answer…..i kept looking . I heard the sirens in the distance….. I found her under the Gravatron….she had been raped and sodomized… as well as decapitated…. I picked up her body and cried….. next thing I know the cops were surroding me telling me to get on the ground ….. I-I-I dropped her and ran….. I ran to Laxus's using the roofs of buildings and trees…..i jumped to the roof of his house and felt something hit me… I rolled off the house and broke my leg….. the bone was sticking out….. I was arrested for murder in the first degree…. Laxus and Makarov tried to say I was innocent… I was admitted to Fairy hills till I was fit enough to stand trail….. a trail that never came" he said, he had tears running down his face. I felt something wet on my face I wiped my cheek it was tears. " Why the fuck are you crying?" he asked…. "I'm sorry Bickslow" I tell him, " Why the fuck are you Sorry? Your acting like you're the one who it happened to, guess what Lisanna it didn't ok? So stop fucking crying!" He spat at me…. I say nothing and lean in to him I had no idea what had come over me, but I pressed my lips to his, they were dry and cracked, I could taste the salt from the tears but there was also the taste of rot from him not brushing his teeth or a bad tooth. When I pull away he is glaring at me again like I had killed him " and now your kissing me? Fuck you're a dumb bitch" he says. I choke back my own tears as I text my brother to come get him, Elfman comes and I run out the door, I run past Freed who says nothing seeing my tears, I didn't want to deal with Freed right now I already knew what he was gonna say and I didn't have an answer for him.

My compulsive nature had just got the best of me and all I wanted was a stiff drink to drown out everything that had just happened. I run out the door and get in my car putting in gear turning on Ave Maria by Beyonce, it was proboly the worst song right now but I was so confused, I drove till I got to the Snake pit. I put my car in park and turn it off locking the doors. Could never be to careful in this neighborhood. I run inside and sit at the bar. Erik is the one who sees me first " Damn what got your panties in a twist" he says seeing me, " Just give me a beer" I tell him. " At this point I think you need something stronger than a beer Lisanna" he says. I wipe my tears away and look at him " Fine boiler maker" I tell him, Erik looks at me like I was crazy but makes it anyways, Erik was never one to pry but today was not my day " What has got you all worked up I'm making you a boiler maker" he says as he drops a shot of jack in the mug. I say nothing as I slam it back in one shot, I slam the mug down and tap on the bar, Erik looks at me with his one eye, he wasn't asking now he was demanding. In all the years I had been friends with Kinana I had learned he was pretty preceptive. " Id rather tell Kin" I tell him. " Well she's at the house dealing with Firelily" he says, I sigh and tell him " He told me his story and I kissed him", Erik whistles before he answers back "Well how did he respond" He asks. " He called me a dumb bitch" I tell him as I take a shot of Jack he sat in front of me, I watch as he takes a shot himself before he says " you probably caught him off guard, Mavis knows it the last thing he was expecting" he says, I take another shot and go to pay Erik before he stops me " Its on the house, Go talk to him" He says, I gulp and reach across the bar hugging him, Erik tenses up but returns the hug none the less, Erik like Bickslow didn't like to be touched, but over time and Kinana's help he got over it, he was not overly affectionate but he didn't push people away anymore. " Thanks Cobra" I tell him, " Welcome Lisanna" He tells me as I run out the door, I get in my car and head back to Fairy Hills.

When I get Back to Fairy hills its right around the time they shuffle them to roll out bread, cook or wash dishes. I walk past Evergreen and nod. Id tell her my plan later but right now I had to find Bickslow. I find him pulling a pan out of the oven, " Hey Bickslow, Can we talk? " I ask him, " About what" he asks " About what happened?" I ask him, he looks at me with those crimson eyes of his. " nothing to talk about, " He says as he slides the pan to a girl named Aliza who was in Fairy hills for killing her husband. " Please talk to me" I say to him, he sighs and grabs my wrist leading me off somewhere to the back of the kitchen after he told Strangler Sam to cover for him, " Look Lisanna it happened, what do you want me to say I liked it? Because I did but your just wasting your time ok? , im stuck here for life, im not getting out anytime soon, your wasting your time, find someone else, ok?" He says his eyes said it all he knew I was trying to help him, he knew why I had kissed him but he couldn't bring himself to go there. As much as he wanted it. He felt like it was a fantasy a dream, something to torture him. He lets me go and walks off, I wanted to tell him wait that I had a plan but my brain wouldn't form the words. I feel tears sting my eyes again and I didn't know what to do. I walk out of the kitchen drying my tears to go help Freed with getting everyone ready for dinner. holding back tears the whole time, my head had heard his words but my heart was not letting go….it was a time for tears.

**Big Fan: It brings chills to me and im the one writing it! **


	6. Chapter 6: Digging up the past

Because I Love you

By:IcedragonSlayeremi791

Chapter 6: digging up the past

A/N: if you wanna see the videos I used for this chapter its, Beat it Dubstep and pumped up kicks dub step Marquese Scott.

~~~~~~ Lisanna's pov~~~~~~~~~

This case had been a lot of work I has spent weeks digging and sorting threw horrific things, thank Mavis for Freed, Kinana and Evergreen. Evergreen had actually been texting Kinana the information we needed to shut Fairy Hills down, Ever having access to the inside after hours had taken pictures and videos of the abuse that went on, she had a really good video of Bickslow getting canned for getting caned for spitting at Sister Mary for waking him up to conduct a random room search and he refused to face the wall. How she got it we'll never know but she did. The Celestial Star was interested in the story. Kinana had been putting it together as we speak, at this moment we were at the Snake pit after last call putting stuff together for the paper, but we were missing something. I had questioned Laxus, Bickslow and Mira. Questing my sister that was fun. At first she bit my head off for it, till she understood that he was framed. She was in the same year as him and confirmed he was bipolar but not crazy enough to kill anyone. But we were still missing something. Kinana was on her laptop searching for any information on Fantasia to see if there was anything. " Lis" she says as she turned the computer. I saw she had YouTube pulled up. " why are you playing on YouTube?" I asked her. " Just watch" she says as she pushed play. I watch as Alashar walked in the middle the ring. " Thank you my gypsy loves now than its time to dubstep with the most boneless kid I know." He says and the music starts and a light comes on him and you see Bickslow dance. I watch floored…. He was good better than Gray. Bickslow really did look like he had no bones as he bent his body and glided across the ring. It was when he was on one leg my jaw dropped. It was the same with the next video we watched. I hit the scroll button and see a name Marvelous monkey Mia. I had to get a hold of her. I have Kinana leave a comment " We need to talk about him" its not five minutes before she gets a hit back. " meet me tonight in Sabercity at the Sabercat Pub". I look at Kinana and she bats her eyelashes at Erik. " Go, I got Firelily" he says. I text Freed and let him know. Freed gives me a thumbs up, I look at my phone it was close to midnight. i grab my keys and text Mira id be home late, same emoji comes back. Kinana and I get in and we begin the four hour drive to Sabercity. While we drove I tune my phone to Two Step by Dave Matthews band. It was good driving music allowing me to just focus on the road. Out of the corner of my eye I watch as Kinana watches me drive.

I had one hand on the wheel and was using my other to shift . When I bought this car it had no drive tram or shifting kit. Gray installed a new stick shift for me in trade for watching his kid since his regular sitter was sick. I was so lost in driving that I didn't realize I was shifting to the beat of the music till I heard Kinana " one two shift " I was taking the backroads into Sabercity avoiding cops, I haven't gotten to drive, Even when Dragula comes on im still not there its just me and the road. I could almost see making this drive with Bickslow, I take the turn and feel Kinana's hand on my leg, I chuckle as I take the turn into Sabercity. Once there we were looking for a bar called Sabercat and a gray S10. I follow the directions that Mia's boyfriend Sting had given us and soon find us in a area like the had some abandoned buildings, ramshackle houses, police and drunks. I felt safe here, I see the S10 and pull in behind it. I noticed it had the same thing that was on Bickslow's face. Hatchet man. I turn my car off and lock it before we head in, I knock on the door and see a blonde guy nod, the door opens and were lead in by a tall skinny guy with black hair covering the side of his face. " You Lisanna and Kinana?" he asks " Yup" I answer " Im Sting, I'll Get Mia" he says. I nod and Sit at the bar. Its about five minutes later when he brings a girl clinging to his back out, she was tiny about a inch shorter than me, she had olive skin, dark hair and green eyes, he sets her down and that's when I see what made her the monkey girl, he feet were fused they resembled hands in a way. Sting sets her down and she smiles at me like I was her best friend in the whole world " So, I'm Mia" she says, " Lisanna" I tell her as I hold out my hand she takes it and shakes it. I watch as Sting stands behind her the other guy on the other side. " So What can you tell me about Fantasia?" I ask her, She sighs and looks up at Sting he jumps over the bar and I see him get a glass pouring her a glass of Makers Mark, he hands it to her and she drinks it in one fail swoop. " Fantasia was home, I cried when I heard what happened, It was my home everyone there was my family, it were I first fell in love." She says, after I had hit record on my phone. She saw me but said nothing as a vlogger it bother her. " I was five when Alashar found me, in a orphanage in a cage, they saw me as an animal and treated me as one. Alashar adopted me and took me to Fantasia gave me food, clothes and a home. He was a drunk sure but it was home. I grew up with all the freaks and carnie kids. Bickslow was my best friend my first love and was the father to what would have been my son." She says looking at the floor. I look at her like she was crazy " Son?" I ask " I left when I was fifteen after they picked up Rusty in Dovetown, Rusty made me nervous. I found out I was pregnant about a month after I ran away, I was homeless and couldn't afford a baby when I could barley afford to feed my self, I was scared and got a abortion, it was better that way. I didn't want him to be born with the same condition as me. i met Sting and Rouge after that." She says.

I felt sorry For Mia, I had always thought my life sucked but her was worse than mine. Gave me a sense of how much people endured to survive. " Do you believe he did it?" I asked her. " No he's bipolar not Crazy, Bickslow loved that place. It was home" she said, It was like Mia was off in her own world for a moment somewhere with hay, lights and grease paint. She shakes her head " Sorry" she says. " id have to say it was Rusty. He was jealous of what Alashar had planned. When we took up permeant residency in Magnoila it was Alasher pseudo retiring, there were rumors he was gonna name Bickslow his successor and Well Rusty didn't like it" She says. " Rusty huh" I say as I watched Kinana write it down. She really was the perfect secretary. " Look if you can get a hold of his phone, I texted him before he left that day. " she says, " Huh?" I asked and she pulls out a phone out of her pocket, it was old and cracked, she turned it on and pulls up a text " Smoke some for me" it said. I wanted to hug her but Mia went the extra mile pulling out her new phone and dialing the number it just rang till it went to voice mail and you heard a really bad recording of Halls of illusion by ICP. Like he had played it and recorded it from his phone. " I need to get a hold of that phone" I say. Mia nods, We say good bye to her and head home. I drop Kinana off and crash. Mia had been my greatest witness. When I wake up the next day its Saturday, I take a egg sandwich from Mira and head out, I was gonna be brave and go see it now….. Fantasia. I remembered it when it was running.

-Flash back-

_The night was hot, muggy it always on the barrens there was a creek on the other side of it, dad had given us money to go to the carnival. I loved coming here! It was always so fun, the rides, games the shows and the FOOOD oh my gawd the food. I loved the funnel cakes, corn dogs and cotton candy but my favorite was always the rainbow float they had here. You could only get it at Fantasia! it was one of the things that made them famous, When we got there We went our separate ways. Mira went to go ride the rides Elfman who knows, I had my heart set on one of those floats. I bought on drinking it quickly the taste on my tounge was Vanilla it was soooo good, I finish it and go to play some games, I wasn't tall enough to ride some of the rides, at 11 I barley stood 4 foot. I was skipping threw when I saw it…. A giant neon purple Geko I wanted it badly….. I knew I would probably lose but mavis I wanted it. I walked over and saw Bickslow was behind the booth in a lawn chair, I put my money down and he chuckles at me. " Alright Lisanna, you have to make a ring around the bottle" he says as he takes my dollar. He hands me three rings, I throw the first one it hits but lands beside the bottles, " Close but no cigar" he says as he lights a cigarette, I throw the second one it wizzes past his head, " Bottles are over there" he says pointing to were they were, I blush, he was fucking with me. I throw the third one and it knocks them over. " Damn it!" I say, he busts out laughing. " said ring em not knock them over" he says, I slap another dollar down, " Again?" he asked. " I want that Gecko" I tell him. " Okay" he says. Again and again I never got a ring around the bottle, I was running out of money and I wanted to ride the Farris wheel before I ran completely outta money. I sighed and begun to walk away when I hear him call me, I look back and he was standing on the counter part, I see him pull the gecko off, " here" he says as he hands it to me, " But I lost?" I asked " And while it was amusing I feel bad knowing you wanted this thing" he said as he handed it to me. I took and hugged him. For the rest of the night I carried it around and it was bigger than me. even took it on the Farris wheel with me._

_\- End of Flashback-_

I still have the Gecko, it was kinda just lounging on my desk, it had been there for awhile collecting dust, I probably should have gotten rid of it years ago but didn't. I wonder if he remembered the Geko at all. I sigh and pull down the dirt road. I stop and turn my car off, there was a huge metal gate there you could here the electrical current on the gate, "well shit" I say. Than I notice the hole it was recent like someone had cut it, I gulp and duck threw the hole, I walk in and it was like I had stepped into a horror movie. The ticket booth was still right when you walked in, I gulp and take out my phone, hitting record. I walk past there flooded with memories of buying tickets. Past the concession stand I can still smell the corn dogs, past the games, the cages were the blood that was there had dried turning brown. The toys you could win still there molded from the rain, the rides rusting from the rain, the big top was at the end of it all beside the the Zipper and Little Dragon ride. I walk in and see everything was still the same the tight rope, the ring….. everything. I leave the big top out the back and the trailers, trucks even a gypsy wagon was still there. But the gypsy wagon there was light on in there… I gulp someone was here. " HEY!" someone yells and I run threw the big top, my only thought was to get to my car. I run past the graviton sliding under it as the person runs by. He had sliver hair and wore a furred collar coat. I wait for him to disappear before running again jumping into the ring toss game to hide when I hear him move again. Ironic right? That its this game I hide in. I can hear him breathing and I grab a ring tossing it towards the creek, he hears it hit a tree and I slide out from under the game running as fast as my legs would carry me to my car, I slide threw the hole and touch the fence forgetting it was on, the shock comes hard and quick, I pissed my self as the volts course threw my body, shakily I run to my car and get in starting it, backing out I turn my whole body to back out, I don't stop backing out till I hit the pavement and than swing around driving as fast as I could. I don't even turn my phone off, I don't slow down. I had to get to Freed….., I knew I smelt like pee but I had to get to Freed. Rusty the one everyone said did it was there. Still living there….. he never left. I drive past the speed limit turning into the long drive way that was Fairy hills stopping at the gate, the guard behind it looks at me like I' m crazy. " just open it Frank" I tell him.

He says nothing as he hits the button the gate swings open and I drive in, stopping and turning my car off. I open the doors running in past the front desk. They all see me but say nothing, I run threw the main building to the criminally insane ward, scan my finger and push the doors open to the day room, they bounce with a thud, the inmates all look at me. I run past them all, " Where's the fire Kitten" I hear Bickslow yell ,I say nothing as I keep running to Freed's office. When I get there he's packing. " your not on the clock today and you smell like urine" he says. " I know" I say as I save the video to my phone. " Look were all out a job the building was sold to the state, they'll use it as overflow, were running out of time." He says. " fuck" I say. Than shake my head " look" I tell him handing him my phone. Freed takes it hitting play, watching it. When he's done he looks at me " you went there?" I nod. " Wow….. all this time he's been there?" Freed asks, I nod again. " Good Job Lis" he says. I say nothing. I was running out of time. We got the nuns out only to bring the state in. I take my phone and leave him to finish packing handing him the case. I had made copies. Freed puts it in his stuff. I walk out and walk to Bickslow. " Forget you were potty trained Kitten" he asks his tongue wagging out his mouth, " No I touched an electric fence." I said as I push play on my phone, he leans over my shoulder watching it, I hear him whimper as he watches everything he knew go by like he was watching a nightmare. Then he growls when he sees Rusty. " Do you Remember the Gecko" I ask him. " Yes" he answers back. " I still have it" I tell him. Its him who grabs me and kisses me this time. In front of everyone in the day room. " What was that for? " I ask. " I just wanted to feel your lips one more time" he says. He knew that the hospital was sold. I grab his face making him look at me pushing his hair out of his face " I wont leave you here Bix" I tell him, " Give it up Lisanna" he says as he looks away. I sigh and let him go, he goes back to staring out the window. I finally had figured it out, I was falling for him. I had to get him out. I knew how too. It would not be easy but I was gonna present my evidence to a judge and file to be Bickslow's power of Attorney,that would free him. Why was I gonna do this? Because I love him…. I head home and take a shower than begin putting it all together.

**Argon: I know its because I'm Awesome! lol, **


	7. Chapter 7 : Freedom

Because I love you

By:IceDragonSlayerEmi791

Chapter 7: Freedom

A/N : Were you see the bold names that is Mia responding to people as she does a live feed inside the hospital.

-Bickslow's POV-

Days had become weeks and weeks months, it was September now. Maybe she took my advice and let me go. I never forgot that kiss though. I could still feel Lisanna's soft lips against mine, they felt better than Mia's they felt right to me.

-_Flashback-_

_It was hot in the vardo so hot Mama had me open the windows, I was laying in my loft reading Stephen King's it when I hear " Bickslow" from outside, I roll over and see Mia there with The dogboy,Seal boy and the twins. " Shh your gonna wake Ma" I tell them. " Come play with us!" Mia screeched. I chuckled and rolled my eyes, grabbing my shoes and jumping out the window. We were in Clover right now, Clover was small there wasn't a lot to do here but with us? Its always a party, Mia hands me a beer and I cracked it drinking it in almost gone in one drink. We had decided to go paste fliers around we did that sometimes. It brought us bissnuss and it was fun. We get to town and Mia hands me the glue and a flier I was gonna scale a building, I'm getting ready to climb when she grabs me planting her lips on mine. Their soft and I can taste the beer on her breath. I kiss her back shoving my tounge in her mouth, she moans and I smirk against her lips. When I pull away were both blushing. Once were done doing poster detail Mia's lips were not the only thing I got that night, I lost my virginity that night. Under the big top proboly not the most romantic place, but I was 14 and it seemed right._

_-End Flashback-_

But kissing Lisanna was like a heaven I would never have. Her lips were soft and like a live wire to me, I wanted her…. No I craved her, I can still smell the cinnamon toothpaste she used, still feel them on mine. I wanted to have her under me like Mia was the night under the big top writhing and calling my name. hear her voice moan feel her nails down my back…. Fuck I just wanted Lisanna. But knew it wasn't going to happen. It was the last thing I had to hold on to in this place, the state had taken over and there were even more people now. At first things seemed fine like they knew what they were doing. They had given us some new meds, structed our days. I actually had to talk to people now! Lisanna still came to see me but her visits were becoming less and less. It was this place it was falling apart. The more people coming the less I saw of the staff. I had free roam now. The free roam was fun but the smell was getting to me. it was like I was living in a horror movie. It used to be we got hosed down once a week now. I haven't been hosed off in weeks, I stank to the high heavens, my hair was dirty, dreaded and I had lice, the lice was driving me insane. I missed Lisanna and knew why she had stopped visiting me. last time she came to see me there were people fucking right behind us, one guy had ripped out his catheter just to laugh at his own piss, that made me cringe. I felt numb to it though I had seen it every day since this place was sold. Day in and day out. As sad as it may sound I wanted the nuns back. I could take the abuse, being raped, hell anything was better than this, I was tired of lunatics screams, so tired I heard them when I slept which was not often any more, I could take orderlies and hospital staff raping me but not the other inmates. No fucking way. Some of them were covered in their own shit, we were like animals in here now. I had started rocking while I sat it was the only thing that kept me from strangling someone. I was walking threw the kitchen seeing people covered in shit naked and fucking, I roll my eyes and keep walking threw to the room I had to share. I kept my smokes there. Lisanna had sent Erik here with them for me. Erik was the only one who could stomach this place right now. Elfman came sometimes too. Freed wasn't allowed back the state had ruled that when they fired the nuns and drs here. I grab a smoke and stuff it behind my ear, under my hair after I scratched the lice. I hid them back in the hole in my mattress and look over to see if my room mate had seen me. knowing my roommate he was probably bent over somewhere, I walk out and go to what was Freed's office, I hid in here to smoke. It wasn't the skeleton staff I hid from, it was the other inmates. It used to be cigarettes were easy to come by. The nuns gave them to us. Now we would kill over them, the state didn't give them to us. I was the only one in the building who had them. I had to hide because last time I got caught with one I had about fifty of them chase me. my only saving grace had been Freed's office. I slid his desk against it and pulled my matches out of there lighting it, I almost moan as the nicotine hits my mouth. Sweet relief.

I finish my cigarette and move the desk away. Going back to my wandering. I wonder if I escaped would anyone notice? Probably not but I had no were to go. I was wandering the dark halls when I heard people talking, I walked in the kitchen and saw… Mia she was one some guy with black hair covering his face, he wore black skinny jeans and a Him shirt on, Mia was still as small as I remembered, she wore leggings and a tank top. There was also a blonde guy wearing a gray hoodie, black tank top under it and jeans, he was holding a video camera. I knew what they were doing and I shake my head walking behind him avoiding the camera. But I heard Mia speak. " So. Hi **Karlie292** Were standing in what was the kitchen now, and oh dear Mavis if you guys could smell this. So far I Rouge and I have been walking threw here what 45 minutes Rouge and have not seen a single staff member, Hi **Bananas**, it Is amazing how this place was sold less than two months ago and its this bad. I feel like I have walked into a zoo. Alright guys we gotta step outside Sting needs fresh air but well be back in here in five minutes." She said. She still vlogged and was live. I see the blonde she called Sting turn and I duck behind one of the freezers. I follow them threw the hospital and to the basement were they walk out a door I never knew exsited before.

I wanted to run out there but I couldn't move. The one she called Rouge sees me and waves me over. I shake my head and run. I didn't know were I was going but I ran till I was sure I had lost them, I was sitting in my window when they come back in and keep vlogging. I listen to them again, this time its Sting walking threw, Mia and Rouge were behind the camera, I look over and see Sting had a bandana on his face. " Sorry if you guys cant hear me but the smell is so bad its driving my asthma crazy, were standing in the day room now, and its like I just stepped into a zoo like Mia said, im appalled that its this bad in such a short time. I would have Mia show you my left but there are people fucking over there." He says and than Carl comes in "Your not supposed to be in here" He says his voice was low and dragged out, Mia turns the camera, " Yo, you're the first person we've seen, why is it this bad" Sting asks him, " There's to many" Carl says and I chuckle. " You heard it Youtube. There are too many" Sting says, " Right well were looking for one patient in particular Bickslow Seith" Sting says, Carl quietly points to me. I shake my head and pretend im not there. I hear them walk over and Mia stops the broad cast " Bix" She says I look her over, like I don't remember her, but I don't fool her. " Lisanna told us to vlog in here, Are you ok?" she asks. " I told her to forget me" I say and Mia's face falls. I turn away when she pulls something out of Sting's pocket. I unfold it and it read it.

" _By the state of Fiore Lisanna Jean Strauss has power of Attorney of the patient Bickslow Anthony Seith, until he is able to care for himself, this power of attorney gives her the right and authority for the immediate release of the patient form Fairy Hills Sanitarium for the Criminally insane." _ I was Free? The madness had ended? Carl looks at me and I smirk at him, I jump from my Window and using both my bound fist deck him in the jaw. That was for all the abuse, the rape and just because I wanted to. All around me the others start screaming, I bend down and whisper to him in romainan "doar ceva de amintit de nenorocit" he looks at me like I was crazy, I stand back up and Sting hands me clothes, " I feel like Dobby now" I say and the three of them laugh, I walk to the staff bathroom and shower. The warm water feels amazing on my skin as I scrub all the filth from this place away, the water was black as it left my body. Once im clean I put on the clothes they still had tags on them, they were brand new…. I put the shorts on first they were white with large black X's on them, I than put the shirt on its Judas Priest and I wonder were she got it, I shake my head and put the white socks on next than the shoes, Lisanna had asked me my shoe size her last visit and what kinda I preferd. I smile as I put the black and neon green Dcs on. They fit perfectly guess she was right when she said I was a 12. I walk out and Mia's smiles " feel better" she asks I nod. I still had the cuffs on but that was because they had pad locked them to my arms, " got a pocket knife" I ask the one called Sting. He nods " not gonna stab someone are we?" he asks I roll my eyes and take it, I gather my hair in a ponytail slice it off at the nape of my neck, it felt amazing not to have all that hair now, my hair falls to my chin and I still looked goofy as fuck, I'd have to get Lisanna to finish cutting it later. I hand Sting his knife back and follow them out, we walk out the front door. Its bright to bright. I put my arm up to block the sun.

Under the shade of my arm I see her. Lisanna was standing by her car waiting for me. my jaw drops and I feel myself grow a little hard when I saw what she was wearing she had on some of those little shorts she wore, a black crop tank top her toned stomach on display she had a belly ring I could see what it was, over the tank top she wore a white button up that she had cut the sleeves off of that had upside down crosses on it, she still wore her converse with no socks. She smiled when she saw me. I drop my arm and run to her picking her up, crashing my lips to hers with such force we bump heads, its like I had died right there, she pushes her tounge in my mouth and I let her, tasting her toothpaste again and her. I moan when she does it, part of me wanted to take her right there. She pulls away before saying " I missed you too", " Thank you Kitten" I tell her before I set her down on her feet. We get in the car and I put my feet on the dashboard, she didn't mind. I had no idea where we heading but I trusted her. She drives till she gets to a dirt road and it hits me, I gulp and hide my head in my legs, I wanted to hide now, why was she taking me back here. I look up and see there were cops here. My mind flashes back to the day I was arrested. In my fear induce coma I almost don't see them hauling Rusty out, I get out and walk over to her wrapping my arms around her. I look up at him and he smirks before saying " id do it all again if I got another crack at Aladora's tight pussy" I lose my cool and deck him. The cops do nothing but read him his miranda rights and shove him in a car. " Wanna go in?" Lisanna asks, " No" I tell her. She kissed my cheek. " I figured I just wanted to give you closure knowing Rusty had been arrested." She says. She takes Mia, Sting and Rouge to their hotel and than she stops at a Pizza King's to get pizza. My brain tried to remember pizza. When she comes back she has 4 large Pizzas, she sets them on the top of the car before she gets in handing them " Can you hold these?" she asks, I nod and take my feet down, I was so scared, but didn't let her know. We drive again and stop infront of a two story blue house, it was loud here, crazy and chaotic. She grabs opens her door and walks around the other side to let me out. " Come on" she says, I hand her the pizzas, she hands them to Elfman. " Come on" she says holding her hand out. I nervously take it and let her kead me in to the house. We walk into a small mud room were she kicked her shoes off, I follow suit, she than leads me into the main house it had a chair by the window, fireplace with pictures of her, Elfman and someone I vaugly rememberd, a older woman and man. The couch was in the middle of the room infront of a coffee table and to my left were stairs, she leads me threw the dinning room to the kitchen, She smiles and me down at the bar. I look around and see a ass sticking out of the fridge, like Lisanna it was daisy duke clad, the girl stands up and pops open a beer, " Hey Bickslow, its been a while" she says, she looked like Lisanna but her hair was longer and pulled back into a ponytail,she wore a white tshirt. I racked my brain for who she was. Than it hits me " Mira?" I ask, she nods She grabs another beer and slides it to me. I hear footsteps behind me and see Lisanna coming down another flight of stairs, she walks over and grabs some Pizza, she hands me the plate. I don't even blink and take a bite. Dinner is entertaing the Strausses pick on each other. Even I was looped in when I dropped a whole pizza down my shirt.

After Dinner Lisanna leads me up stairs and shows me to her room. Than to what was gonna be mine " can I sleep with you?" I ask " sure" she says, I didn't want to be alone. We watch TV with Mira and Elfman till elven when we go to bed. We curl up on the twin sized mattress. She grabs my face and kisses me, I kiss her back she smirks and rolls to were she is on top of me, she begins kissing my neck, I wanted to tell her to stop but couldn't he hands wrap in my hair and her nails scratch my head, I reach my hands up and run them down her arms as she pulls my shirt off sracthig down my chest before she leaves kisses down it, I let out a shaky breath as she stops at the waist band of the shorts, she pulls them down and I lift my hips to help her, she kisses me again before she wraps her tiny hand around my dick, I shudder as she rubs it while her mouth claimed mine. I didn't know what was happing but I wasn't gonna stop her. Once im hard she ducks between my legs I watch her threw hooded lids as she takes it in her mouth, I let out a groan feeling her swirl her tounge around the head, oh gods! She deep throats me and I have to grab the sheets, I feel her hold my hips down as she continued to suck and hum on what she could take in her mouth, I was no slouch in the dick department. I had both length and girth. I feel my balls tighten and I let out a moan as I shoot my load in her mouth, I open my eyes and see she had swallowed. She lets me go with a "pop" and smiles before she start taking her clothes off, seeing her naked body I become instantly hard again. She walks over now completely naked and kisses me again grabbing my hand and placing it on her right breast, I tentavly pinch her nipple she moans and I smile, I lift my head and take it in my mouth swirling my tounge on her nipple, she lets out another moan, I bite and suck on it till I give the other the same attention, our breathing is heavy and she looks me in the eyes as she lowerd her self on me, I hold my breath as she does it, she was tight on me and I was praying she could take it all, I feel her slide down slowly as I close my eyes, I was in hevean. I open my eyes and see her fully sitting on me, she took it all, she rolls her hips forward and I moan. When she slides up the length of me her name excapese my lips " Lisanna". I reach up and scratch her back she cries out her. Own moans fill the air as she bounced on me. I grab her hips and hold them hard enough to bruise as I shoved up as she slammed down on me catching the rhythm. I hear her moaning my name and I sit up holding her as I drove my self into her, her head flops forward and I hear her moans in my ear, " you gonna come Kitten" I ask her and hear a weak " yes" I moan in her ear my own impeading release before I bit her neck and she cries out " Bickslow" as her body tenses and shudders, I reach between us and push on her button. She cries out as her walls clinch around me and she shuddrs as her release hits her, I thrust into her a few more times using her release as lube before my own hits me, I feel my balls tighten again and I slam into her as my own release hits me, I moan in her ear before I flop back on the bed breathing ragged. She rolls off and hands me a cigarette. I smoke it wondering how I got so lucky. Freedom and sex all in the same day. I look at the girl beside me and she had fallen asleep. I smoke my cigarette and curl up next to her watching her sleep. I couldn't if I wanted to, the house was to quiet for me to sleep. I had fallen hard.


	8. Chapter 8: By myself

Because I love you

By:IceDragonslayeremi791

Chapter 8: by myself

A/N: Eight Chapters done whooo! Ill update Forever again soon when I can figure out how I wanna end it. Now than let's fly my Fairies!

-Bickslow's POV-

I had been out of the hospital for two weeks now and I was finally somewhat normal. That first week had been hell, with in my first 72 hours of being out I had to detox from all the drugs they put me on, just so Lisanna and Freed could put me on the right ones Lithium for Bipolar, Paxil for PTSD, Concerta for my ADHD, Valium for Anxiety and to sleep Trazadone. I hated taking them but understood that I had to. I had one major complaint about one in pitcular the Trazadone it knocked me so hard on my ass a bomb could go off and I wasn't waking up. " Bix, get up" someone says in my ear, " Nnnn" I whine, " Fine" the voice says " ELFMAN I NEED YOUR HELP!" the voice yells I knew it was Lisanna now. I hear another set of feet enter the room, Lisanna grabs my wrist and pulls me from bed, I land on the floor with a thud. It hurt but my brain was still in dreamland. I feel someone hoist me up by my shoulders and drag me down the hall to the bathroom, " Lissy this is getting old he needs to get up like a man" Elfman says. _Man fuck you_. " I can talk to Freed about lowering his dose of Trazadone, but his body has to get used to the meds" She says, Elfman sits me on the toilet and Starts the water, " No cold this time, he hit his head last time and I shower with him its not nice to freeze me out too" she says, " I didn't need to know that Lis" Elfman says, _That's right meathead ive been fucking your little sister._ Lisanna pulls my sleep pants off , so Elfman can stick me in the shower. This was one of the reasons I hated Trazadone I couldn't function in the mornigs and had to be put in the shower by the meathead. He sticks me in and its scalding hot " WHAT THE FUCK!" I yell fully awake now. " Morning Bickslow" Elfman says as he walks out the door. Lisanna giggles before she gets in adjusting the tempeture she giggles even more seeing that I had tried to scale the wall, " Good morning how are you" She asks " Like a fucking lobster" I tell her as I grab the mens 3-1 Elfman and I were sharing, I lather up and rinse my self off, I'm about to get out when I feel Lisanna pull my head down, " Still have lice, I'll take care of that later" she says, I groan. I didn't mind her playing with my hair or parting it but the fucking nit comb yanked hair and it hurt. Which is saying something considering I like my hair being pulled. She said she wasn't gonna put my mohawk back till we were sure the lice was gone.

I pull my head away and kiss her before wrapping a towel around my waist to go get dressed. I walk to our room and begin looking threw my drawer for some pants, Lisanna had bought me boxers only for her to end up with them. I don't do underwear of any kind, I didn't wear em as a kid either. I find me some pants, there some wrangler camo cargo pants, she got them to big since she didn't really know my size, not that I m complaining I like my jeans a bit big anyways, she walks in as im digging for a shirt, " yup still my favorite way to see you" She says as she dries off. I roll my eyes and walk over to her " guess what my favorite way to see you is?" I ask. " Naked" she says. I nod and she walk towards her, I lick her cheek and she giggles before pushing me away. " later" she says, I growl in frustration and go back to looking for a shirt I find one and smirk to my self, I hadn't worn this one yet and I talked Lisanna in to buying it for me by promising her id eat her out for it, I kept my promise but she still hated the shirt, it was black and had Pennywise from It on it and said "Arent you gonna say Hello?" When she turns she screams seeing it, " Really that fucking shirt!" she asks, I stick my tounge out at her and she rolls her eyes, I grab some socks and head downstairs to eat and take my daily dose of happy pills. When I get down there Mira has oatmeal made, I groan I hated oatmeal it reminded me of lumpy gray porridge. " Sorry Bickslow it's what we got" she says with a look of fucking deal with it. I get me a bowl and some coffee. Lisanna didn't want me drinking coffee but soon found out it was a losing battle, I needed coffee in the morning just like she did. I put a little bit of milk and sugar in it before mixing it up, I choke down oatmeal and than take a sip of my coffee. I was about to try and skip out on my meds when Mira hands me my morning cocktail of 2 Lithium, 1 Paxil and 2 Concerta. I sigh and swallow them with the rest of the coffee, I stick my tongue out to show her I took them. " Lift it" she says. I roll my eyes and lift my tongue for her. Once im free and ive eaten I go slip my shoes on and grab a cigarette sitting down on the back porch to smoke it, while I was smoking I listened to the sounds of the southside around me, it was different than the carnival but felt like home.

My brain fades to grease paint and hay. I shake my head and throw my but in the yard getting up, it was getting colder, I get up and head in to finish getting ready for the day. Lisanna was taking me to enroll in a adult education class and take me to job and family services, I didn't want to go there. I knew what would happen, they'd see the scars on my wrists and throw me out the door or try to recommit me, We were also gonna go get my shit out of evidence. Lisanna's friend Jet owed her a favor. I would never understand how South side girls worked and I was with one. Lisanna could hustle the clothes off your body if she wanted to. She walks down stairs and eats, counts my pills, puts her shoes on and than grabs her coat before she's ready, I put on my hoodie and coat, it was Elfman's but he got to big for it I guess because he gave it to me. this coat was from Elfman did ROTC, I vaguely remember watching him walk around highschool with all the other I wanna be a soldier fucks. Look at him now a outta work security guard who lives with me. Lisanna grabs her keys and we head out. First place we go is to get my shit outta the copshop, I wont go in. but she drags me in none the less. When Jet brings it in its like a stab to the gut. I open the box and the smell of mold and blood hit me. I feel a hand on mine and look down to see Lisanna smiling at me. I close my eyes and reach in it pulling out my old backpack. It was a military bugout bag, My mama had got it at a surplus store in Bosco for when I started highschool, it was heavy, I open it and see it still had my books and the faygo. I pull the faygo out and chuck it in the garbage can, I pull out my skateboard next and hand it to Lisanna. She looks at it and than me. " ill figure it out," I tell her as I pull out my Carnival of Carnage wallet, I notice the chain is missing and have to dig in the box for it, I find it fixing my wallet before opening it. It still had my Social security card, school id and lunchcard in it as well as 3 dollars still. I dig some more and find my lighter which still worked, half a pack of cigarettes which were probably stale by now, and my Hallow Wicked hat, I smooth my hair back and put it on backwards. Jet was gonna throw my old bloody clothes away but I tell him not to. I would bury them, considering it was my Mama's blood and I wanted to give her some peace.

Next she takes me to enroll in adult education, I started tomorrow and I was not looking forward to that. But I had to have a GED to become a mechanic. I had always been good at fixing stuff, I used to fix rides and the trucks. Were on our way home when she is going on about how I needed to figure out how to help with money and that Mira wasn't let me live there for free. I was no where ready to get a job. We turn on to a side road, " Stop" I tell her and she stops looking at me like im crazy. " Your afraid of needles and wanna donate plasma?" She asks. I nod. The way I saw it the money was easy and it was a hustle I could pull off at this point in time. " Okay Bickslow" she says and pulls in. it would take 2 hours to get me all the way threw to be able to donate. Lisanna kisses me and hands me a grocery list along with money to ride the L home. I get threw and get sent to the donor floor, once I m sat down they start prepping me and I almost bail, but couldn't Lisanna was trusting me to do this, I stick my ear buds in and tune my new phone Lisanna got me to Faithfully by Journey, This had become mine and Lis's song, it had a way of calming me when she wasn't around. The person sticking me is a small girl about Lisanna's size and blonde small chest, she's cute but not Lisanna, she gets everything ready and when she pulls out the needle I wanna run but don't when she sticks me I turn my head and flinch. It takes me all of two seconds to figure it out, make a fist and release it to get the blood flowing, I have to bounce my foot or die of boredom, when its done with its draw cycle relax my hand, in 29 minutes I fill the container and they wrap my arm with some kinda of sticky tape. I was proud of my self, I had made 100 dollars just sitting there. I had found a hustle I could do. After I get me some food and smokes I head to Walmart to get the stuff on the list, I load it in my backpack and set my board down, I kick off with my left foot. Fall and catch myself. I fall two more times before I figure it out again. I kick off a forth time and don't fall, I bring my foot back and ride the board like I never forgot. The real test would be of I could still pop it up on the curb. I gulp and bend my knees spraying to the gods till I hear my board land. " Fuck Yeah" I say as I skate to the L station by Walmart. Once on it I have to stand and hold a board along with 70lbs of food on my back. I get off about a block from the house and skateboard home. Once im in the ard I pop my board up grabbing it. I open the door and Lisanns is there smiling. I kiss her and walk past her to put food away. " you just did something by yourself" She says as she pops open a beer, I take a cigarette out and light it " I just did something by myself" I say as it hits me. I was proud of myself and it felt good to know I idid something by myself with out Lisanna holding my hand


	9. Chapter 9: Tank

Because I love you

By:IceDragonSlayerEmi791

Chapter 9: Tank

A/n: Yes I have been MIA, I had to collect my thoughts and get stuff for school done, yada yada, all in all I had to adult! Which I know is no excuse but bite me!now than lets Fly my Fairies!

-Bickslow's POV-

I feel someone shaking me and I didn't want to move, better term was couldn't move, I was to lost in the night terror I was having to move. " Bix I gotta pee" someone whines but I grip the person beside me tighter, " Bickslow I really have to pee!" the voice whines again but I don't let go, I feel the person move and slip away, my eyes snap open and I reach for Lisanna. " Stay" I ask her. " Bixy I have to pee" she says. " Stay" I ask with more force in my voice. I tried to get her to understand that I had another nightmare. I had them frequently sometimes of the hospital and sometimes of that day, but she was more worried about going pee, " Dammit" she says as Mira beats her to the bathroom, it's a few minutes later when Mira comes back and she stops her, " Sit with him"she says as she runs off to go to the bathroom. " What do I do?" she asks before Lisanna closes the bathroom door, " Just run your fingers threw his hair" she yells back as the door closes. Mira sits her panty clad ass on the bed, and I sit up, I didn't want Mira, I wanted Lisanna. I wait for her to come back and get up walking past her drying my tears. After I had gone pee, I start the shower getting in. Lisanna gets in beside me and I turn away from her, I was kinda mad at her right now.

I had a nightmare and she wouldn't comfort me, instead she asked her sister to. I scrub my body and hair, put it down so she can check it. " Your good no bugs" she says. " Good get rid of the blonde" I tell her, I was blonde right now and hated it, I wanted the blue back. She had bleached my hair and done two rid treatments to get rid of the lice, they were gone and I was done being fucking blonde! I get out wrapping a towel around my waist and go get dressed before going down stairs, to eat and take my meds. It was my first day of school, I felt like a little kid again nervous about going. I was squirting ketchup and drownding that in hotsauce when she walks down stairs in a pair of tight skinny jeans and a purple top that showed off her chest, I was mad but I looked. She always looked good in everything she wore. Lisanna had one of those bodies people got plastic surgery for, tiny waist with a nice ass and legs for days even if she was only 4'11, her chest was perfect to fit just right in my hand. I turn away and begin to eat. " Did you take your meds?" She asks. " Can I eat first" I snap at her, I had to eat before I tried to take them,if not they would make me puke later. " Sure" she says, I eat about half of my eggs before I take them showing her I had taken them. Once breakfast is done we head out, I grab my board and lanyard. I had to admit it was pretty cool, it had the joker on it. Right now it just had my house key on it, I was supposed to get a student id later on it. That student id let me ride the L for free. I grab my earbuds and phone as well as my Hallowwicked hat and we leave.

We get to her school and she stops kissing my cheek before we get out, I kiss her back, " you gonna be ok?" she asks. I nod at her. I didn't want to tell her I was nervous. I had to make up 2 years of high school. I put my earbuds in and tune my phone to Sound of Madness , before setting my board down and skating off, I knew she was watching me, I could feel her eyes on me as I skated off. I get to the Career center and pop my board back up before lighting me a cigarette. I was smoking when a bunch of teenagers walk up. They try to bum off me but I ignore them. I didn't want to deal with Teenagers. I had been one and knew they were fucking stupid. Once im done I head in and sit upfront, I needed glasses and had to wait a week for the appointment. I wasn't looking forward to those either. In high school I wore contacts. The teacher walks in and we start so far I was ok. When we got our break I got my id, and used the little bit of money I had left on my Plasma card to get me some food. I was sitting by myself infornt of the door drinking a pepsi when some girl walk up, " hey" she says. " hi" I reply. This girl had to be no older than nineteen and yeah she was cute but I wasn't interested. " I'm Darlena" she says. " Bickslow" I tell her and go back to ignoring people. She sits next to me and I roll my eyes. After our break I head back in and try to focus on what were were learning but couldn't things were starting to get to me. it was to much. At 3 were released and I skate board to the L station. Getting on the train that would take me home. I had to stand as it was a school run and there were no seats. I tune my phone to behind blue eyes. I stick my phone in my pocket, I grip my board with one hand and the rail above my head ready to ride, when the kids from this morning get on and smash into me. I would have been fine if they didn't rip my ear buds out, which pulled my phone out. They step on it smashing my earbuds. I hold my breath and try to focus on anything but the noise and feeling of the train move. I watch as Magnolia goes by and I don't recognize things, I start to panic did I get on the wrong train? "_Fuck" _ I think to myself as I tried not to panic. I had to get off. But I didn't know were I was. I could feel my anxiety rising I heard everything around me and I wanted to run. It was my defense when things like this happened. I didn't want to be here. I couldn't do this…..fuck….fuck….fuck…fuck…fuck.

In my panic attack I hear a voice. " Bix" it says. I open my eyes and see Mira. I jump on her, holding onto her for dear life. " Shhh" she says as she rubs circles into my back. " your ok." She says. I feel her wipe something away I had been crying. " breath Bix" she says. Mira and I ride the L to our stop and she gets off with me, I help her carry the groceries she had back to the house. I than crash on the couch. I was done. At five when Lisanna comes home I'm playing video games with Elfman when she walks in the door. I tackle her and kiss her hard. " well hey" she says as I do. I set her down when Mira clears her throat. Lisanna kisses my cheek and walks into the kitchen and I can hear them talking. " So I had to comfort him again today" Mira says. " why?" Lisanna asks " I found him curled up in the back of the L crying holding his head, He had a panic attack" Mira tells her. " Fuck, " Lisanna Says. " Look, I understand how you feel about him, I also understand his situation but Lis you need to make a choice here, he needs you." Mira says. " I know and I was considering dropping out for a while till he is able to stand on his own to feet, but its not because of his issues, I love him" Lisanna says and her words hit like a ton of bricks. She loved me? I was fucked up why would she love me. I was a paperd nut and spent a good part of my life locked up. I don't say anything and walk out the door, I was gonna leave when I feel a hand on mine. " Stay" Lisanna says. " I-I-I" I say unsure of what to say, " its ok, lets just go inside ok" She says, I nod and follow her in. the rest of the night I spend with her, she did fix the blonde and I was glad to be me again not some damn Machine gun Kelly wanna be. after that she takes me Walmart and gets me some new headphones these one were wireless and I could wear them around my neck when not in use. When we get home I take my meds and crash for the night.


End file.
